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Site Designer: My Best Friend
!Saturday, March 25, 2006
hmm.. as i was lying on my bed... trying to fall aslp yesterday night.. i tot to myself.. i am quite contented already. contented with life. i have my beloved mummy n daddy. i have my siblings. i have my good friends and of coz.. i haf found my best friend. i always tell myself.. in one's life.. if one can find a best friend.. who knows one inside out.. who realises one's mood.. who is always there for one.. who talks to one about everything under the sun (or the moon also can).. who reeli lives in one's heart. hmm.. i am contented coz i have already found one. tt's u.. cher sook yee. u noe wad.. maybe i nv eva tell u tt u r so important to me.. okie.. it sounds like i am reeli in love with u. muahahahahz.. but reeli.. no matter how much u and i have changed.. no matter where we go.. no matter how different our paths will be in the future.. no matter how different the two of us are and last but not least.. how stupid you r n how clever am i.. ahhaz.. i still love this friendship we built.
so. i haf my best fren.. i haf my family (though not a perfect one).. i haf many friends... i haf good results.. wad can i ask for. though sometimes i might think nothin is eva enuff.. but i guess.. as i grow up n become more mature.. i tend to learn to think of things beyond the surface. i learnt to appreciate good things.. though when i am reeli pissed off.. i am reeli blind n retarded .. as in i dunno how to calm down and think. but now.. i wanna remind myself constantly tt i already have alot.. so i shld not ask for more.. but learn to treasure them.
put in in simple words. i love growing up. and though the job i haf now is like a daily routine thingy. i reeli learnt alot. i noe how fortunate i am. i noe i am so much better off. i have a working brain. i have responsible parents. i get guidance as i grow up. i am showered with love n care from my family. i have so many friends whom i love. unlike some students at my workplace(though some r irritating), at such a young age, wad they have are problems at home which i dun haf. if i were them.. who will i be now? so.. everything is fine for me now..
muahahz.. i forgot the mention something.. i love myself too.
Shanny
; @ 11:29 AM
!Tuesday, March 14, 2006
i tried already... u r happy in tt world of urs.. i cannot go in.. coz.. i do not like ur world.. so.. i wld rather stay in mine...
okie... 2 days haf passed! 2 days of full-blasting of children's voices... hmm.. pulled thru 2 days.. but i shld be lucky.. that horrible one din come! phew! alrights.. i like to bring them for outdoor activities.. coz time will pass veri fast. hee.. 3 more days to go..
well.. haven apply for university... still thinking thru.. i am scared to make mistakes.. there's no turning back wor.. haix.. actualli.. i worked for 2 months plus le.. its still quite okie la.. but thinking of another 3 months to go.. i feel like dying... working life is yucky! i wanna study!!!! orh.. i hope after i leave tt place.. some of my dearest kids( those i like onli) will come n ask me to give them tuition.. ahhaz.. then i can earn money
i am a lazy pig for the past weeks.. been slping at the time of 9.30pm almost everyday.. tt's bloody early. definitely no life.. but i discovered i love slping alot.. ahahz.. definitely my favourite pastime.. I WANNA GO OUT! but no one ask me out.. SIAN
Shanny
; @ 7:07 PM
!Thursday, March 09, 2006
wad the hell.. i feel so disgusted by myself.. how cld i smile n say hi to ppl when i am in a fucking bad mood? that's bloody fake n definitely not me.. but i juz behaved in that way.. i am juz freaking tired of being the onli sensible n responsible kid at home.. y can't i juz blow on my top whenever i wan? y the hell do i haf to control my temper n stay calm? juz because i noe if i dun, there will be additonal problems.. coz my sisters will definitely quarrel at least once a week u see.. n once they start quarreling, all the bad stuff come out.. how the hell will u feel? i felt tt my family is sucky n they juz like to hurt each other..
well.. coz i am alwayz controlling, there will be a time when it's filled to the brim n i juz feel like breaking down. n this is the time. coz i am the sensible one at home, i need to uphold tt bloody image n role so there is at least one clear-headed child.. so my mum wun feel tt hurt coz she will think tt at least she haf one who can think.. tt's y i behave the way i reeli is in front of my frens. i am childish, demanding, petty, selfish, fierce n violent. i noe tt well. maybe i am juz attention seeking... but i need u ppl to be ard me.. n i alwayz tot u all will be there to understand me n tolerate my stupid attitude.. n of coz coax n pamper me.. now then i noe.. everyone is occupied with their own stuff.. they wun haf the time to come n make me happy all the time.. so maybe i juz need to coax myself n ask myself to forget it.. if i asks too much, i will be disturbing others.. so.. it's time for me to grow up huh.. now i will learn to shut up n not to bother others.
to continue with my foul mood as mentioned earlier.. i was feeling shitty yesterday already.. n i went offline coz i was feeling mad n sad, n i juz wanna slp! but again.. as usual, a stupid quarrel took place when i have juz fallen aslp... all the shouts n hurting words flying ard.. i heard them, but i am juz too tired to walk out n ask them to stop.. i am mentally tired. thinking back.. i am juz an escapist. trying to escape from all the shit stuff.. so ultimately, i din reeli slp well.. which led to a bloody bad headache today.. as i worked.. i feel more shitty, thinking of the bad things which happened in juz one night.. n today, i can be so suey to be nearly knocked down by a dumb bicycle.. stupid idiot!! i juz feel like yelling at the cyclist " u bloody asshole, can't u see i haf no eyes at the back? i cannot see u behind me k? n u bloody shit plz go n attach the bicycle bell to ur freaking cannot-make-it bicycle!" but i din.. coz i am again.. too tired...
it's overflowing already... i need to let some water flow out.. orelse it will be filled up again veri soon...
Shanny
; @ 6:22 PM
!Sunday, March 05, 2006
hmmm.. wheneva i tot u will be out of my life soon, u alwayz come back. y? juz let me get over you..
went out with sharon jieshan kathie mengsy to town yesterday.. to catch up of coz.. ages since we all meet up n bitch.. ahhaz.. i tot i will spend alot yesterday.. but.. onli 12 bucks la.. can la.. coz we went to ramen ten to eat.. nice leh.... i will go back again!!!
today.. was supposed to meet mingliang.. but ended up meeting with some guys from lmao tt gang... junyi was funny.. wondering how can he become a victim when he was so aggressive last time.. now he juz cannot outtalk ely n me.. talked to them lo.. as usual.. topics hovering ard courses to take n their army life.. but.. quite funny la.. nigel was irritating as usual... he juz loves to make fun of me... n gets nothin out of it.. hmphz..
okie.. wad i am thinking now is.. courses to take.. i think for nus, i will onli apply for arts n social sci.. to do econs.. nothin in nus interests me anymore.. then.. i will apply for communication studies n accountancy in ntu... hopefully i can pass the interview for comm studies.. if not .. i will juz do econs in nus ba.. juz put accountancy for fun.. ahahz... still thinking over it la.. maybe i wake up tml n feel like taking up business? maybe..
wondering shld i go out on next sunday? or juz get on with my own life? haix.....
Shanny
; @ 5:39 PM
!Friday, March 03, 2006
wells.. its over.. the torture i have been lamenting about.. it was over the moment i took the results slip from mr ho........
recalling bout 1st march.. i went to work from early morning till 12.10pm.. then i went home for a shower.. hmm.. while waiting for sookyee's call to hop on to the taxi.. i was bout to worry to death......... then she called n say she cldnt get a cab.. from then onwards.. time passed so much faster.. i got on to the cab at bout 1.50pm at jurong.. that's ultra late.. but we managed to reach sch at 2.10.. ahahhaz.. then sort of dashed up to the hall.. n veri timely, the announcement bout jiefang being the top arts student.. i was reeli so happy for her.. clapped n went "whoohoo" hahaz.. JIEFANG!!! I AM SO PROUD OF U.. okie.. then abit more rubbish by the principal n she simpy ended with " okie, u all can go n collect ur results now" omg.. then i kinda think some of us juz dun wish to walk to mr ho.. ahhaz.. n mrs chia..ahhz.. but in the end we still did..
i was almost in tears when wanting was collecting her results.. i am truly scared at tt moment.. then when mr ho passed me the results slip... i din wanna take coz i am not prepared yet.. then i juz asked him "gd or not? " he smiled n said "quite good.." so i took it n turned it up.. i am pleasantly surprised by my GP.. which i onli managed to pass for once throughout my bloody JC life.. hahaz.. then looking at tt B3 .. i quickly look at the name.. yes .. its mine.. i got a B3??? i cannot believe it.. okie.. then i stared at the grades.. okie la.. its the results i muz obtain to be happy.. so i am happy.. though i tot it wld be better with an A for econs.. hmphz
okie.. then i tot of sumthing.. y zahrina nv give results??? so i went to ask mr ho.. ahhaz.. then he sort of explained she was sick tt kinda thingy.. n the HOD asked.. who taught A51 before.. n it so happened tt he was right in front.. so the HOD juz say " okie, dan ho, u give A51 the results.." felt glad to have mr ho to give me the results.. coz he is sort of my fav teacher in SA.. learnt alot from him.. n its reeli great to have him to pass me my achievements.. so.. its fated.. zahrina is juz not right to give us the results.. ahhaz.. tt's mean but i reeli prefer mr ho.............
alright.. lastly, i juz wanna say again.. fang er, i am so so so proud of u and i love u so much, love the times we pon geog tog in J1 , love the times we pon maths lecture, love the times we slack in the cafe, love the time we have P.E tog, love the time we slack in the reading room, love the times we eat during breaks tog n i do love A51 afterall la... i miss college life....
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